God's timing > Our schedules

thats a 'better than' symbol in the title for those who are confused :)

Warning: this post contains some serious material including, but not limited to: spiritual references, personal struggles, lack of faith, etc.

Inside of every person, there is a soul. Inside this soul, i believe every person has this little compartment called the 'i wanna make a difference chamber.' This is where we all get that desire in life to make the world different by the things we do. I haven't met anyone who has expressed to me that they'd prefer to leave this world and the people they've met untouched and unchanged through all their interactions. If you are a person like that, i'd like to meet you and see what someone like that is really like... How depressing would it be to look back in your old age on your life and think, 'wow, i had so much opportunity to make a difference and i completely failed.'
As a Christian, i have that same desire as anyone else. Though, i feel my goals are tweaked a bit to mimic Christ and impacting the world for His cause and His name's sake. Do i wanna be that guy who could always make you laugh? Or the guy who will listen when you need it? Yeah, i'd like to be that guy... but more importantly, i'd like to be that guy who gets remembered cause 'he helped lead me to Christ' or 'he really set an example and i want what he's got.'
About a month ago, i found myself laying in bed thinking, 'God, why don't i have any of these stories of leading people to Christ?' It frustrated me... I got back from my Christmas in Mexico and was home for one night before i left again.. That night, after having supper with friends, a friend i used to work with called me up and asked me to come to the bar he was at. I told him no thanks, but he was persistent in wanting me to come, which i thought was a little odd. So i show up, thinking maybe i can give him a ride home. He sees me right away and gives me the biggest hug. For the next 20ish mintues, we make small talk, but he continues to tell me how much it means that i came.. each time becoming more and more sincere. He starts crying at one point while hugging me again telling me how much it means to him that i'm here. I remember thinking, 'ok, he is a lot drunker than i thought.' He gets embarrassed by the tears and storms out of the bar.. I was so confused as to what was happening. I go after him and find him outside, bawling. The real reason for the tears came out.. 'Ryan, you have no idea what i've been through lately. I called you because I know there is something different about you... something i can trust. I have other friends, but i felt like you were the only one i could be honest with. My life is such a mess and i want to end it all. I have a gun at home and i've tried to pull the trigger so many times but i can't. I feel if i do it, i'll hurt too many people... thats the only reason i'm still here.' I sat there with my jaw on the pavement. The next hour we talked was a new experience for me.. How do i convince this 34 year old guy that killing himself is not the answer? I told him Jesus Christ is the only way your going to find true happiness and peace in this life. We talked through all the obvious reasons for staying alive (family, friends, etc.), but i knew nothing would really satisfy but Christ. 'You have no idea what i've been through in life' he continued to say... and he was right, I had no idea. So i got him connected to a brother in Christ who had experienced many of the same things.. After he felt satisfied from the conversation, i left. This guy saw something in me that he could trust. He called me in his darkest hour in life and poured his heart out to me.. Since that night, my friend has been coming to church with his wife and kids, and just a few days ago accepted Christ Jesus as his reason for living. WOW!
Its amazing how when we feel down or upset about something and pray to God for a pebble size of what we think we need... God pushes a heavenly boulder crashing down on us. Just know... people are watching. They know how much you love this Jesus you follow by how you live your life... I sure found that out in a big way! Did i have all the answers for my friend? No. But i listened and tried my best to point him in the right direction. How are you impacting the world for Christ? Are you living half-hearted, banking on God's grace or taking advantage of every opportunity to make your call and election sure? Are you impacting YOUR world for the cause of Christ?

2 Peter 1:10-11 says, '¹⁰Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, ¹¹and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.'

-ryan